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Joke Character Sheet

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Cosmic entity
Name
e

SpeciesΣ

Powers: Pataphysics Manipulation, Non-Corporeal Form, and Transcendent Science

Alignment: Neutral Good

Motto: "Don't break what you can't possibly fix." 

Quotes: "My purpose is to educate, and currently, yours is to listen. After the process, you are allowed to forge your new existence."

"Congratulations, I see you've finally made it to this stage. You've certainly come a long way with infinite steps in counting, but to reach the apex, you still have infinity more to go. It looks like hyperreal systems and surreal numbers will be our first topic."

"If you believe you comprehend pataphysics, then you will need to take notes the most."

"I'm sure you've heard of the confounding "long-line" that lies within the field of topological mathematics. With the advanced transcendent species such as the CN, that would be pitifully minuscule."

Occupation: Cardinal Educator

Backgroundcame into being in the outskirts of totality encompassing several realities in a community named 'The Continuum'. Most of his childhood was expended on a comprehensive civil war that originated due to a conflict on how inferior species should be guided for their future. through his communities's local affiliation joined the 'Status Quo', one of the fundamental factions devoted to preserving the underlying laws that constitute reality. Their oppposition, the Avant-garde, desired to alter reality to ensure greater overall happiness for inferiors with the side-effect of stagnating their advancement. Myriad other minor parties were involved, but they didn't pose a tangible threat at the time.

through his strategic endeavors and several successful gambits managed to become one of the supreme commanders in the war. He even earned the respect and cooperation of multiple powers in the Metaphysical realm of existence through promises of their laws remaining unaffected, but soon through the perpetual contention, even they began to suffer. Later, it was apparent that existence itself could be a casualty from collateral damage but both sides were too intractable for that issue to be of concern even though multiverses and its intrinsic systems were repeatedly created and destroyed.

It soon became apparent that this war evolved far beyond the relatively simple ideal for younger species and began to become a symbol for dominance convinced that their way was the only way. acknowledged this factor and desired to end it all swiftly for the protection of their reality. Due to his stature and position with his species, he appealed to the even more transcendent CN through his peaceful resolution and in a daring maneuver introduced 'superpowers' to inferiors with their support making the change virtually irreversible. Soon, the war efforts were gradually reduced to concentrate on inferiors that gained the capability of advancing far beyond their means at accelerated rates.

Both powers converged to punish for his 'unconstitutional' change due to the potential acceleration regarding the structural destabilization of the established transcendent classes. His penalty wasn't the cessation of his existence, but it was ultimately considered a fate worse than death. was defrocked to the level of any inferior species of his choosing and homo sapiens was arguably the best choice from his virtually omniscient knowledge of life forms especially the ones most affected rom the reality alteration. 

During his stay on a planet termed Earth, he gradually adapted to the life of a mortal adopting its systems and customs. who began to use the Americanized name, Edward, was homeless for his preliminary months observing the way humans interacted and even began to feel the conditions that humans traditionally 'suffer' through including hunger and sleep. He already had a knowledge of the basic language and he was resourceful enough to be able to satisfy his desires even in his penurious state. He constantly contemplated commiting suicide but his newfound motivation to see his ideal approach realized even on such a relatively infinitesimal level has driven him to strive towards accelerating the evolution of mankind.

Months passed and he was finally adopted by a kind family of four and with the bonds forged through the following years, he began to wonder if his existence was more fulfilled and self-actualized on such a primitive planet than in his exceedingly advanced continuum. Quickly breezing through the education system and attending a prestigious college on a scholarship, he pursued a career in many fields of science and mathematics with minor ones in literature. He has developed many scientific breakthroughs and revolutionized many systems of thought but he was mostly renown as a crackpot due to the unconventional nature of many of his 'theories'.

Unfortunately, he also observed that for many of his discoveries, many potential investers did not receive the ideas with acclaim due to e's assertion that it will generate virtually limitless energy for the masses at the most economic prices. His biggest projects required money that many companies were not willing to give at their expense at the time and this is when he realized this force of stagnation was almost omnipresent in virtually every existence even at the lowest echelons where they need it the most. It was infuriating being turned down consistently for all his efforts.

Months later, a vast extraterrestrial mothership was detected just out of Earth's atmosphere and hacked every satellite to broadcast an ultimatum, "If e doesn't accept his capture and come with us within two days, your planet will be destroyed. We are capable of sensing the human that we require so do not make any feeble attempts at deception." knew they couldn't possibly have known exactly what reality, nevertheless, the exact planet where he was exiled especially since they referred to him by his endonym but not his alias. Many possible scenarios flowed like rivers through his mind including what purpose this new threat carried, why he was the only viable target, and why an entire biosphere replete with prospective life teeming with potential had to be held hostage in the exchange. Was it his or another close species ultimately accelerating his end and manipulating other primitive species to do it or was it an outright act of revenge due to conditions from the war.

The world was in a pandemonium fervently searching for the target with restlessness generating mass panic and even organized riots. Due to e's cover name, nobody could identify who the aliens desired to capture and as he watched the chaos around surrounding him, he innately knew that regardless of his feelings, he would be Earth's only salvation. The ultimatum was so straight-forward that there didn't seem to be any possible deception involved and so he made his choice. 

Subsequently surrendering to the government after saying goodbye to his family for the last time, he hoped for the best for this world in his absence. Despite their flaws, he could see that it was their growth and capacity to iron out their weaknesses as tiime passed that conferred their personalities and moral ground. It was this knowledge that provided him with the resolve to save what he believed to be his home. Government officials escorted him to neutral ground in a remote desert where he encountered the extraterrestrials that were supposed to teleport him to the mothership. Upon being beamed on the comparatively advanced ship, he was taken to the captain located on the bridge who posed a quintessential question: "Why should humanity be saved if they were so willing to sacrifice an innocent fellow member for their existence?" 

e ruminated on the question and the intentions that it carried, but then decided that his truest answer was the best he could give. Recounting his experiences, he informed the commander of his exploits on Earth, there shortcomings but potential for perfection, and the true benevolence of the species as a whole despite their hardwired exigency to survive. The leader stood up and smiled as if he was content with that assessment of humanity and the reality around e began to collapse immediately replaced with the courtroom with the architecture of his native society, The Continuum. He looked around and innately knew he was on the witness stand and the alien leader that formally stood before him shapeshifted from his disguise into an incorporeal form he knew all too well, the CN. 

CN then turned to what e knew to be the jury and expanded on his points in a closing statement that declared that the alteration to reality should be permanent essentially because of the advantages of growth  and embrace of the unknown compared to established tradition. The opposition that consisted almost entirely of members of e​'s own species vehemently expressed their disagreements and even the jury began to passionately debate amongst themselves. The judge, a lower member from the realm of omni-physics, called the court to order to deliver his verdict. He declared that due to the similarities of a set of previous cases regarding whether or not free-will should exist in reality, there is a trend regarding fundamental systems tending toward disorder and perfection paradoxically arising from it. Due to this effect, the judge ruled in favor of the CN and mandated e's exoneration and freedom.

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