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How do you get superpowers in real life

Well, my query is how is it possible to acquire superpowers in real life? I have tried everything from reading books and watching educational television so I can learn how to create powered armor that gives me superhuman strength and durability, flight, and an array of weapons, but that is far too much work. Submerging myself in a toxic waste vat to elicit whatever power lays dormant in me or generate a power for me, but I only spent long hours in the hospital. I attempted to use venom to enhance my strength, but that only had unfortunate repercussions. I even tried to expose myself to more radiation or get bitten by an irradiated organic life form, but that was another long trip to the hospital. I am at my wits end so can anybody help me find a way to elicit or gain my superpower? Thank you for your help.

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